BSC TV #6: Claudia and the Missing Jewels

It’s time for another episode of the BSC TV show, and it’s time for our favorite crafty fashion maven Claudia (Jeni Winslow) to show off her funky earrings.

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Claud and the girls arrange her jewelry on some kind of velvet table covering and everyone ooohs and aaahs over it.

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Claudia’s earrings immediately attract the attention of a woman who “has a very good eye for jewelry” (but for some reason shops at Stoneybrook craft fairs?) and orders four more pairs of earrings.

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The rest of the BSC craps their pants when they find out Claud got fifty dollars from her high-end shopper.

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I’m pretty sure Mallory (Meghan Andrews) has never seen $50 before. I mean, she has, like, fourteen siblings. Claudia kindly offers the money to help the BSC with their upcoming plant sale.

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Karen (Ashley Chase) tries to get the attention of Kristy (Avriel Hillman), but Kristy’s too busy working on a book report. Karen knows what’s up and says, “I love Claudia… she’s so pretty.”

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Then Julie (Missy Yager) shows up! Julie is cray, and her first order of business is to knock all the shit Kristy’s carrying out of her hands. Score one for Julie.

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Julie also comforts Karen about Kristy’s “bad mood”. Karen is definitely going to grow up to be Miss Patty from “Gilmore Girls”.

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Karen has a blast playing Go Fish with Claudia. Probably because, even though Go Fish is lame, Claudia treats Karen like a human. (Ahem… Kristy.)

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Claudia shows Karen and Kristy the earrings she’s made for Miss Olga (Natalija Nogulich). Yes, her name is Miss Olga. And also, you’re telling me these earrings are going to be sold in a jewelry shop in the village? Come on.

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Kristy has appointed herself as the Marketing Manager of Treasures by Claudia (LLC) because of course she has. Karen tries to tell Kristy about her treasure tree but Kristy’s like “YEAH LET’S PLAY HIDE AND SEEK BYE”.

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While Julie is putting laundry away, she notices the earrings on Kristy’s bureau and holds them up to her ears. DUN DUN DUN. Julie looks like Mallory, if Mallory were cool.

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I can’t believe it took 11 minutes for my boo Jackie Rodowsky (Danny Tamberelli) to show up, but here he is, claiming “my plant just bit me!” Classic Jackie. Star of the show right there.

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I wanted to make fun of Karen for her fake commercial for Queen Bee Beauty Potion, but then I remembered that as a child I made my mom record a video of me doing a “Tour of Fashion” which included a fake commercial for real detangler. Touché. Oh my god, was I a Karen Brewer?!

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Kristy and Claudia show up to get the earrings to bring to Miss Olga, but… THE EARRINGS ARE GONE.

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Kristy calls an emergency meeting of the BSC, where Claudia tells them that if she doesn’t get the earrings to Miss Olga by next week, the order is cancelled and Claudia has to give back the $50… which the club already spent on plants. Whoops!

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I have to point out that Kristy is wearing THREE ITEMS OF DENIM and they are all basically THE SAME WASH. Is this, like, the Connecticut Tuxedo? Why isn’t Stacey hosting an intervention?!

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Kristy thinks Julie did it! She was the only non-Thomas/Brewer in the house and, oh yeah, Kristy has a weird vendetta against Julie (despite the fact that Missy Yager has gone on to appear in “Mad Men” and a couple of Shonda Rhimes shows).

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Kristy comes up with a hackneyed plan to catch Julie mid-thievery. She knows Julie’s the culprit because she has a feeling and she’s Kristin Amanda Thomas and she’s never been wrong! (Remember in “Kristy and the Great Campaign” when she said she’d learned her lesson “for the hundredth time”?) As if Mallory needed any more help looking goofy as shit:

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Also, remember when pay phones were a thing, and not just in Maroon 5 songs?

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The girls follow Julie around town all afternoon – and not subtly.

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Of course, when the girls meet up at the pizza place to debrief, who should walk in but Julie?!

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And, of course, she’s wearing Claudia’s earrings!

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Kristy rushes home to try to find Julie, but she’s gone. Karen tries – again – to show Kristy her treasure tree, but Kristy isn’t having it.

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“Please, Karen,” she snaps, “I don’t have time right now.” Meanwhile, rockstar Jackie Rodowsky steals a flower from someone’s garden and brings it to the plant sale.

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Julie shows up at the sale, and the BSC makes Kristy “I’m-tough-as-nails” Thomas confront her.

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Then Julie drops a truth bomb… Karen gave her the stolen earrings. Gasp!

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Next Kristy confronts Karen, who’s like “I TRIED TO SHOW YOU MY TREASURE TREE 1000 TIMES, BITCH!” and runs away.

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Oh and she says, “Sometimes I feel like you don’t wanna listen to me at all!”

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Kristy tells Karen she’s a special girl and Karen says, “sometimes I think you like all the other kids you baby-sit for better than me.” I love it when Kristy feels like an idiot.

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I think Karen does too. To atone for their sins, the BSC throws Julie a surprise birthday “party”.

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As a gift, the girls give Julie a non-stolen pair of earrings:

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And Kristy makes it through another caper without being the victim of justifiable homicide.

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