Dawn (Melissa Chase) has a major crush on SMS soccer star Jamie Anderson (Shane McDermott).
He is pretty cute, in that floppy-haired 90s boy way. Do I actually agree with Dawn about something? Yikes.
Everyone “ooooooh”s like six-year-olds when Claudia (Jeni Winslow) points out that Jamie is staring directly at Dawn.
As the girls are walking away, a soccer ball flies at them and Mary Anne (Meghan Lahey) somehow catches it. Who knew Spier had cat-like reflexes, other than the reflex to be a cat lady? Jamie trots over to retrieve the ball and smiles his cute-boy smile.
The moment is… charged. Dawn’s loins spontaneously combust.
Back at the pizza place, Mallory (Meghan Andrews) gives some bad dating advice and no one can remember why they let her in the club.
Dawn can’t think about anything but Jamie. Mary Anne offers to talk to him for her, since they know each other a little bit. Dawn is psyched. Can I handle a whole episode of Dawn?
Yes I can, because Jackie Rodowsky (Danny Tamberelli) is here! Hooray! And he’s, obviously, terrible at soccer.
But hunky Jamie is his coach, so I’m sure he’ll improve. Mary Anne shows up to pick up Jackie, dressed like a substitute teacher as usual.
While she’s there, Mary Anne tries really desperately to drop a few hints to Jamie about Dawn. Like, super obvious.
At the BSC meeting, Dawn tries to squeeze every possible detail out of Mary Anne.
Kristy is annoyed by all the Jamie talk, until the club gets a call from a new client…
… who was recommended by Jamie Anderson! Mary Anne and Dawn run into Jamie at school the next day. Dawn is basically shitting her pants.
After Mary Anne leaves, Dawn tries to bond with Jamie by talking about Jackie Rodowsky. I’m not sure that will work with Jamie, but it would totally work with me.
Jamie finally asks Dawn, “what’s your number?” to which she replies “phone number?!” in a really squeaky voice.
At her baby-sitting job, Dawn basically bullies the mother of the charge into hurrying home because Dawn is “expecting a very important phone call at home”.
When the girl she’s sitting asks, “is your sweetheart gonna call?” Dawn says “I hope so”. Oh, Dawn. When she gets home she hears the phone ringing and races inside to answer it…
… but it’s just for her mom. LOL
But then Jamie calls for real and Dawn dies a thousand happy deaths. Jamie asks her to the soccer game!
Dawn craps her pants about what to wear on her “date”. Then she utters a sentence that is wrong on every level: “Thanks for lending me the turtleneck, Mary Anne… you’re the greatest.”
Dawn excitedly greets Jamie at the door.
But then he asks her who she’s going to the game with. Confused, she says “I thought I was going with you…” And then Jamie makes this facial expression:
They’ve both just realized that he thought he was taking Mary Anne to the game and Dawn thought that he was taking her to the game.
Dawn is pissed and gives Mary Anne the silent treatment, which is dumb because Mary Anne did literally nothing wrong other than let Dawn wear a turtleneck on a date.
The rest of the club is like whaaaat and Dawn’s immature shit means they can’t even sit together in the cafeteria. Stacey (Jessica Prunell) and Claudia sit with Dawn and Kristy (Avriel Hillman) sticks with Mary Anne.
Dawn makes a show of giving back everything she’s borrowed from Mary Anne, and she also makes a bathroom schedule so they can avoid any “unnecessary conflicts”. God damn, Dawn.
At the BSC meeting, Mary Anne and Dawn literally sit back-to-back like they’re playing “mad at each other” charades.
Kristy calls them on their shit, but they keep it going while everyone’s decorating for the Sweetheart Dance, and they even pull my boo Jackie Rodowsky into their twisted game.
Jackie’s expression says it all.
Then, in the midst of their bickering, Dawn and Mary Anne literally tear up a heart.
It’s time for Kristin Amanda Thomas to take matters into her own hands. She calls an emergency meeting of the Baby-Sitters Club.
Kristy’s bossiness works, because Dawn and Mary Anne make up in, like, five seconds.
Then everyone is like “BABY-SITTERS CLUB FOREVER!” and they all decide to go to the Sweetheart Dance together.
And then they have a group cuddle on Claudia’s bed. At the dance, the girls walk in together and then Jamie approaches Dawn and Mary Anne.
Drama?! Nope, Jamie asks Dawn to dance and she accepts, and then they dance.
If you can call it “dancing”. It’s really spastic. Then everyone peels off with different dudes and everyone’s dancing YAYYYY.
Despite her best efforts to ruin everyone’s life, Dawn got what she wanted and everyone lived happily ever after. For now.